For thousands of years in China, women have been subordinate to men in a paternalistic family structure. Before a woman got married, she was required to obey her father's will and after an arranged marriage, her husband became the center of her entire life. She would then often be tightly controlled by the rules of her new family.
Chinese traditional culture considers marriage and motherhood as the only real options for women, but nowadays, a very different scene has emerged: nearly complete freedom for Chinese women to choose their own lifestyle.
In the past seven decades, as China has transitioned from feudalism to socialism, Chinese women have broken free from their former fetters, both inside and outside families. In the latest sign of women's enhanced vitality and freedom, apart from greater opportunities in career and education, a more significant revolution has happened.
I Don't Want to Compromise on Marriage
Women in China are increasingly aware of the importance of leading an independent lifestyle. Most of them will not simply listen to their parents when choosing a husband anymore. Instead, they are taking the initiative to choose a partner they love and make their own decisions regarding family issues. Some may even resort to remaining single and having a more carefree life style.
Miss Wei, 37, lives on her own in Dalian in northeast China's Liaoning Province. A graduate of a prestigious university, Wei began her own company several years ago. Listing "driving, traveling, and buying name-brand clothing", as hobbies, Wei said she was "very satisfied" with her current single unattached life. She was not celibate, but did not want to compromise by getting married.
Many educated Chinese women now are like Miss Wei, satisfied with a successful career and a kaleidoscopic private life. They enjoy being single more than having a burdensome marriage.
In addition to choosing to remain single, more women are getting married and giving birth later, or choosing not to have children at all. This runs contrary to traditional Chinese culture, which regards not having children as being disloyal to one's family and ancestors. Many modern couples are either content with having a DINK family or are hesitant to take on the responsibility of raising a child.
Society Gives Women Freedom of Choice
In modern Chinese cities, the number of single women like Wei is increasing. A poll done in six major Chinese cities shows that 82.79 percent of urban women accept the idea of being single, and the percentage is even higher (89.94) among highly educated women.
Society is giving women a more open environment to be independent, said Jiang Yongping, an expert with the All China Women's Federation. With economic development and the change in lifestyles, more and more women have become independent of men. Economically independent Chinese women no longer have to rely on their husbands to buy houses, cars or clothes, and society is increasingly providing women with more opportunities to participate in a vibrant social life. In the past, there was a saying for women: to marry is to live. However, now, with the rapid development of the Chinese economy, urban women are better educated, are enjoying better careers, and are thus more financially secure.
Women are also asserting their right to decide when and if they will have children. Bao Qianyi, a 28-year-old teacher at the Foreign Economic and Trade University, has been married for four years. Bao and her husband have chosen not to have a child. "Marriage and motherhood are no longer obligations for women, but a lifestyle that women can choose for themselves," said Bao, adding that she did not want anything, even a child, to disturb the harmony of their relationship.
China has undergone great changes and is still in the period of social transition, in which different ideas continuously clash and inevitably produce a wide spectrum of moral values.
Booming Single Women Economy
As the head of her own company, Miss Wei spends most of her time working with her employees. "I don't worry about anything except my work," said Wei. "I enjoy spending time with my employees."
Every weekend, Wei buys flowers to decorate her spacious 120 square meters apartment. Each year, she spends over 10,000 RMB on clothes.
Single women in their twenties or thirties, with high incomes but without the burden of a family, have become a significant consumer market, which has been named the "single women economy" by some economists. In big cities like Beijng and Shanghai, a single woman buying a house is no longer rare.
Women's clubs have emerged in some big cities as well. One such club in Hangzhou City in east China provides fashion information to its members and invites experts to come speak. The members go on road trips together and the spread of the Internet and TV media have infused new elements into single women's lives.
More importantly, public opinion regarding women and marriage is changing. Many parents no longer condemn their daughters' choice to be single, which was not accepted in the past.
A 34-year-old woman surnamed Lu, who works in the media industry, said she "does not feel any pressure about my single life, either at home or at work."
Jiang Yongping said that the increasing number of single women reflect society's progress. "However, some women still have regrets, since they can not enjoy the happiness of family life," said Jiang.
The change in women's attitudes towards marriage and other important life issues, much of which was unimaginable in the past, are the result of a Chinese social revolution and people's ideological change. Though new problems may emerge unexpectedly during this process, some things are for sure: society is becoming more progressive, more attention is being given to women and Chinese women will enjoy better lives in the near future.
