Perceptions about what it takes to be a responsible parent vary widely between Chinese and Western mothers. It was of the utmost importance to Mrs Wang that she stopped her small child from putting his fingers, or any other objects, in his mouth. "He used to put his fingers in his mouth when he was little. As soon as we saw it, we'd take them out and tell him off. He soon learned not to do it. It's dirty. He will get sick.’Mrs Wang also constantly washed her son's hands after he played outdoors, or touched objects that she considered to be "dirty," such as trees, walls and the ground. Perceptions about dirt and cleanliness are culturally specific, and they vary from country to country and even from area to area. Western mothers tend to be far less concerned about this, and the Western women we interviewed did not object sa much to their children getting dirty, sucking their thumbs or putting things in their mouths. "When he was a baby, he put things in his mouth all the time. Touch is how they learn, I let him explore. It's an important learning tool”said Gail. She lets her son suck his thumb, which concerns Chinese mothers in her neighborhood "I'm always surprised when complete strangers c
ome up to my baby and pull his thumb out of his mouth," she said.
Western parents also differ from Chinese parents about whether it is OK to allow the child to be independent. Kim's daughter learned to use chopsticks at the age of two. "If she can do it, I let her do it” Kim said. But people around her were concerned that her daughter was too young. "They thought it was dangerous, that she may poke her eye”Kim said.
When asked how foreigners raise their children differently, Mrs Ye said foreigners' children don't wear enough clothes. "When I see the foreign children in the play areas in Beijing, they are often wearing one or two layers less than the Chinese children. Don't they get cold?" she asked. When Gail took Larry out as a baby, he would often throw off his mittens. "The Chinese mothers were terrified he'd catch a cold, and they insisted that I should put them straight back on for him, but I let him throw them off," Gail said.”He soon learned that his hands got cold if he threw off his mittens and he stopped doing it.”
